Bitterness!!! Ampalaya! 08292008

i know i’ve said i wouldn’t turn to alcohol anymore, but what the heck! i need to shut down… shut down from everything… i haven’t had a decent sleep for weeks now and i say alcohol’s my last resort… even though my eyes are all droopy, my brain just doesn’t want to shut down… i know scientifically it never will but i just can’t stop thinking…. i force myself to sleep but my brain and body won’t allow… i’m too exhausted, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually…. i need to stop thinkingand waiting. i need to pause for a while to regain my strength but i can’t. it’s too hard not to think of all the problems i have right now. i try to divert my mind from thinkin’ that i’m all alone now, but it seems that everything i do and everywhere i go constantly reminds me of him…. haay…. so sad… =’c men are such complete a**holes! f***k them all!!!